So much in the world is unpredictable right now - but home can offer a safe place.

We were buzzing with excitement when we found out that Kim John Payne had agreed to be a Guest Expert on one of our SYT Learn Live Calls. I mean, this is the Bestselling Author of Simplicity Parenting, and someone who has already taught us so much through his work of encouraging connection, advocating for simplicity, and decreasing overwhelm in our busy lives.

Kim’s live call touched on a number of topics including rhythms, predictability, intuition, decluttering, media, boredom, anxiety, uncertainty, schedules, adult filters and more. And if you love some brain talk, we definitely jumped into some science-goodness about the amygdala, limbic system and basal ganglia and how they affect our behaviour and thought patterns.  

One thing that Kim talked a lot about, is rhythm and predictability. This is especially fitting because….so much in the world is unpredictable right now! Let’s look at a few trends we are seeing (or doing ourselves!):     

Are you decluttering, organizing and purging? 

Do you find yourself trying to simplify your indoor spaces? 

Are you spending time baking and cooking in the kitchen? 

Are you leaning into family rituals? 

Are you craving the familiar? 

If you answered yes to these questions, the why behind these activities may be rhythm and predictability. Rhythm and predictability provide people with a picture of what is coming next, a familiarity and a sense of safety without having to use words to say “you are safe”. We are trying to create a feeling of spaciousness and simplicity in our home environments, we are following routines and instructions through baking and tasks, and we are seeking the familiar through rituals. Rhythm and predictability bring our brain out of survival mode and provide healing and settling. 

Whew...makes sense when you think about it, right? 

Consider this not only in terms of your own experience with the unrest in the world, but reflect on the benefits of rhythm and predictability and how they may be driving your child’s behaviour, activity choice and sense of safety.

Speaking of safety, Kim John Payne also shared an incredible analogy about our homes as “safe harbours”. The outside world can be likened to a stormy sea…it may feel oppressive, overwhelming, complicated and scary with all of the uncertainty. But in our homes, we can create a safe harbour, where the water is calm. 

Picture a sea wall….one side is the peaceful water of our homes, the other side of the wall, the rough waters of the outside world. 

So just like the boats, our kids have to go out into the rough waters and live their lives. But...and here is the key....when they come back into the harbour, we are there to help them replenish, repair, restock and experience some calm before they go back out to sea. This is the dance of attachment where we prepare them so that they have what they need when they go back out….while knowing that they can come back to the calm and safety of our harbour. 

The call with Kim John Payne was incredible and showed us how to embrace the security that is found in some of the daily experiences, rhythms, routines and patterns in our lives. 

If you would like to listen to the replay of Kim John Payne on SYT Learn, click here.