Embrace the unique way your child is blooming!
“Embrace the unique way your child is blooming - even if it’s not in the garden you imagined. ”
Does this quote resonate with any of you? It sure resonates with us, and with many of the parents in our community.
When we first become parents, I think that many of us have a picture in our head of what parenting will look like and what our child will be like. Well, if you are like me (and I am sure many of you will be nodding your heads!), NEITHER of my visions were right.
What I came to realize is that my expectations for parenting and society’s portrayal of parenting were huge factors in this imagined world of parenting. When I pictured parenting and pictured my child, I only envisioned all of the good times (and don’t get me wrong, there are PLENTY of those that I am so grateful for!).
What I didn’t picture was the harder parts of parenting, the struggles I would have with my child, the patience that I would need to summon, the hurdles that both my child and I would encounter.
Fast forward to having a unique and amazing child with a learning difference. A child who:
Struggles to keep up in school in certain situations and subjects
Needs me to remind him multiple (MULTIPLE!) times a day to get his responsibilities done (and they still sometimes don’t get done)
Does not naturally make friends and can be very sensitive
Is often misunderstood by teachers and family members who don’t “get him”
Takes a lot of time to get tasks and projects done
Has very specific ways that he wants things to be done
This is also a child who:
If given enough time to get them out, has the MOST incredible and inspiring ideas
Notices details in life and his environment that many people would pass by
Has a memory like a sponge
Understands things in a deeply complex and detailed manner
Is incredibly creative and thinks outside the box
Has the absolute best sense of humour
Has a huge generous and caring heart
I have learned that my child is not who I had envisioned he would be. Things that I had imagined would be easy, carefree parts of his childhood (and my parenting journey!), are not. However, what he does bring to our family, to his learning, to this world, are far more unique and valuable than I could have imagined too. This boy is going to change the world, engineer things that don’t currently exist and do so while making life better for those around him.
What have I learned from my parenting journey?
Acceptance
Appreciation
Advocacy
I want (I need!) others to see my child, to truly understand him and appreciate his gifts the way that I have learned to. This shift to understanding HIM as well as capitalizing on his strengths has made all the difference. We both are learning how to advocate for this understanding and appreciation within school settings and society (which isn’t always easy!). He might not fit into others’ boxes (or my original assumption of who he would become) but he is blooming into an incredible human being, and I am so lucky and grateful to be knee-deep in the dirt with him.
Jill - SYT Team