6 tips for parents whose child was just diagnosed with a learning difference (ADHD, Dyslexia, etc)
To the mom whose kid has just received a new diagnosis...
To the dad who is overwhelmed by a psycho-educational report…
To the parents who are having big feelings about a new “label”...
We see you. We get you. We have been there (and are still there!). It can all feel very intimidating.
When your child receives a new learning disability diagnosis, you may feel a lot of mixed emotions. Some of the most common emotions we see (and it will likely be a rollercoaster and/or mix of all of these feelings at the same time) are…
Grief: You may be shocked as this diagnosis was not something that you were expecting. You may also feel grief because your expectations for who you thought your child would be may be different from your new reality.
Fear: You may be worried about what the diagnosis will mean for your child’s future. You may be scared of the potential struggles the whole family goes through with a diagnosis. You may feel fear of potential stigma.
Overwhelm: You may feel unsure of what to do next and how to help your child. You may feel overwhelmed with all of the new meetings, terminology and processes.
Relief: You may feel that you finally have some clarity and answers around what you are seeing in your child. You may feel comfort in having the vocabulary to describe the behaviours, learning, strengths and struggles, and to have somewhat of a “why” behind those.
These feelings are all normal. A new diagnosis of a learning difference can mean there is a lot to digest, understand, and learn about. But...there are many people who are ready to support you (guess what, we are some of them!).
So, to get you started, here are six tips for parents whose child was just diagnosed with a learning difference (such as dyslexia, ADHD, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, executive functioning etc.):
Consider a diagnosis not as a label for your child, but as a way to help you and your child understand their abilities. Try to see a diagnosis as more insight into your child, in order to support their challenges, and to be able to advocate for what they need. The more we know about our kids, the better we can connect with them, understand their needs, and help them flourish. Learning about how they learn, think, and process (via a diagnosis) is one more way we can get to know them (and they can get to understand themselves) better.
Explain the diagnosis to your child, do not hide it. Talk to your child about their diagnosis. If you do not like a term like disability then call it a difference — because that’s what it is. Share that they may need certain tools or approaches to help them with their learning/life skills to be able to show others the incredible things that they can do and the amazing person that they are. Be positive - the way in which you tell your child about the diagnosis makes a big difference to how they perceive it.
Celebrate differences - Understand that everyone learns differently and that we need to celebrate those differences. Learning differently is not something that anyone should be ashamed of, and should not just be viewed as a deficit. Each different way of learning will come with various strengths and struggles - even for the neurotypical child!
Make sure to focus on their strengths - Neurodiverse people have incredible strengths, and those are often lost in the mix of trying to figure out ways to “help” with the struggles. A child with dyslexia may also be an incredible outside-of-the-box thinker, a child who processes information very slowly may also be a deep and thorough problem solver, and a child with ADHD may be very charming, enthusiastic and energetic. Do not let their strengths get lost in the mix - a psychoeducational report should cover both, and both should be kept in the forefront when planning how to help your child.
Research and inform yourself - Learn as much as you can about your child’s specific set of strengths and struggles. Remember that each diagnosis is not the same as another. An example of a difference such as ADHD could look quite different for different kids. Learn what you can about the diagnosis, BUT also strive to understand your child’s specific, unique situation, skills, and struggles.
Find a community - Having a support system of other people who have been through it, who understand the processes, the terminology, and who have had some of the same feelings and struggles as you, makes all. the. difference. (really, it does!). You don’t want to feel alone on this journey - and you don’t have to. There are many places where you can reach out for support.
A new learning difference diagnosis can lead to a barrage of different emotions. However, with reflection, intention, perspective and support, it does not have to feel overwhelming.
We are here to support families whose child has ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia or another learning difference, through all of those ups and downs. We have new monthly guest experts added each month to our SYT Support Library which is available for free on our website.