What to do when your child is behind in school?

Nothing adds a little more stress in your life, then when you find out your child has a number of ‘outstanding assignments’. This is a little different than homework but it ends up being homework if you know what I mean.

So when a member of our PMC submitted a questions for our monthly planning call about helping her son manage his after school time (and chunk his assignments) so he could actually get the projects done. I thought, hey I think there are a LOT of parents out there with this question. So let me share what I mostly shared with her!!

If your child has a learning difference (ADHD, dyslexia, LD or anxiety) these steps will help support your child to get back on track.

Here we go!

1. Priorities
   Find out what needs to be done first. Ask your child what is the most pressing thing to get done. They may all seem urgent but there is usually one project that needs to be done first. If they don’t know, you can find out which is more urgent by also talking to your child’s teacher or teachers. You will want to set up a face to face meeting to chat with the teachers to let them know what is happening and see what they can do to also support your child. It is possible that accommodations need to be put in place or there may be other concerns to address such as anxiety etc. This is a two way street and if your child needs support — they need it not only at home but at school as well. Once you know what is the first priority, you can then line up the other subjects (let the teachers or guidance counsellor know what the plan is to hand in the assignments)

2. Break down the tasks
   Once you have the first assignment to focus on - start breaking down what needs to be done. Ask your child what they need to do. If they don’t know — well that’s the next step. Find out. Get examples of what needs to be done. Have the teacher show you or your child what is needed, then you are ready to break it down. Write out each step on a sticky note or index card. Only work on one step at a time. Looking at all tasks leads to overwhelm which leads to feeling stuck. Not being able to do it or start. And we don’t need that.

3. Prepare

   Ask for a time they will be working on their assignment. Yes I ask. Kids need downtime after school, when they decide on the time (with some support from you) it’s a better start to work and preparing to get It done. Next, what do they need? a laptop, paper, clear space, etc. You may also discuss what can happen after the work is done? Yup a reward. Nothing big. Maybe a game or talk with a friend, or a show you want to watch together. It helps your child (particularly if they have ADHD) by releasing dopamine which stimulates the brain to help them get started - as long as they know what they need to do. You also might want to have a little fun before started — dance to music, go outside, get oxygen going in that body so sitting down feels good as well. There are all ideas to help your child figure out what can get them set up to start (not just homework but any task in life they don’t want to do…there are a few of those…right!!!!!)

4. Get Started

   Well of course, you are thinking. But this is the hardest part! Starting something that requires a lot of effort when you learn differently or you lack the skills (and interest) is HARD WORK. One way to get started is to set a small time limit. Just 15 minutes. Use the timer on the kitchen stove (simple and effective) sit down with your child as they are working. That way they feel supported as they work. Just having you close by to ask a question (and for you to observe what is really going on - is SOOOO important) Now if they can’t get started even with the short period of time, you then take the next step.

5. Support them

   Yup, help your child get started. Read the paragraph to them so they can work on comprehending instead of reading. Scribe their thoughts so they can get them down easily. Just allow them to get started and see what progress they can make with the support. When you support them, you are also learning ‘what they need’ to help them. It’s a win-win!! They also feel like you are there for them. That they can get this assignment done and get caught up.

If you want to learn more about homework battles and how you can change this - sign up for my video and worksheet to help you and your child at home.